Nine Hundred Nights by Nick Apuzzo

Author:Nick Apuzzo [Apuzzo, Nick]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Nick Apuzzo
Published: 2011-08-22T04:30:00+00:00

*****

DISC 2

*****

Track 13

La Donna è Mobile

June, 1983

As described at the very beginning of the story, we'd staged a brief coup d'état over Scott the sound dictator, only to have it metaphorically fall as flat as Kenny's amplifier. Being a young band though, we had resilience on our side and recovered quickly. Dave bolted out of nowhere and man-handled Kenny's amp back into place and we turned our amps back to their 'Scott-approved' levels, tucked our tails between our legs and continued the set.

One thing that I also got a kick out of that night was a little prank pulled on Ingy. In the song 'The Zoo' by the Scorpions, there's a guitar solo that Ingy plays using a 'Golden Throat'. It's a device that channels all of his guitar sound up a plastic tube and into his mouth. This tube runs up the mic stand and is mounted alongside Ingy's microphone and when he switches it on, the BLAST of guitar sound is enough to rattle his molars. His mic throws that 'mouthed shaped' guitar sound out there through the PA system. If you've ever heard the guitar solo in that Peter Frampton song 'Do You Feel Like We Do', then you know what I'm talking about. Tonight, during The Zoo, I thought it would be funny to see how determined Ingy would be in the face of…cayenne pepper. I dropped some of it down into the tube and with the powerful blast, some was sure to be ejected into his mouth. As insurance though, I borrowed Scott's ChapStick and used it like a glue stick of sorts, to put a little coat on the tube end piece that would be in his mouth; then I sprinkled a little bit of the pepper on it. Ingy never touched the thing until it was time for that one solo. We began the song and I'm doing a great job of 'playing casual', then the solo part came and he hit the switch. Over the course of maybe ten seconds, maybe less, his face went in stages from white to beet red. It's a pretty long solo and I take no pride in the fact that he really screwed it up, the pepper was too much for him, he couldn't handle it that long.

The icing on the cake was that when Ingy was done screwing up the solo, Tommy looked at me for a second and I shook my head and threw him a disappointed look. Ingy, who by now had figured out who did what to whom, was ready to choke me. We had to take a little break after the song so he could wash his mouth out. Out of guilt I offered him my beer bottle but he shoved it away, afraid that I'd 'quench' his thirst with something even more caustic. He can be such a paranoid guy. In point of fact, my beer bottle had only a little beer left in it, LOADED with the rest of the red pepper.

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